I stood in church asking God to examine my heart. What did I idolize? Money, power, fame, riches, fortune, stature? Nothing struck a cord. Surely I idolized something? But I walked away confused. I guess I wasn’t struggling with idolatry? But I felt an itchy spot between me and God. I just couldn’t figure out what it was. Until now….
You know how you go to the refrigerator or bathroom cabinet looking for something, you can’t find it, but then you do you realize it was right in front of you? Almost too close to see?
The biggest idol I struggle with is me, I was just too close to see it.
I don’t get on my knees and worship myself every morning. I doubt any of us do. But let me ask you a tough question….do you go to the Bible each day to learn about God? Or do you go to looking for answers about you?
It may seem obvious to others, but to me this question was kind of a shock to my system. I mean I know the Bible wasn’t written about me. I know am not the Good News. But I treat it that way. So often I go to the Bible to find the answers I want for me, with no intention or even thought about learning what I can about God. The One who the whole dang book IS about! He didn’t write it about me so that I could become the best me I could be.
Now this gets a little hairy – because learning about God does help me become a better me – but that cannot be my purpose in reading the Bible or living my life unless I desire to see myself as the center of the universe. My purpose for Bible study and for living in general must be this and only this – to glorify God and worship Him. Will I become a better me in the process? Certainly! But only as a byproduct of His glory. Certainly and never by my own rights and muddy, fault filled efforts.
So my Bible study is changing a bit. I go to His Word seeking what I can learn about Him. Not to twist and bend scriptures to fit what I want to apply to me. Because the Bible was not written about me. It’s about God. It’s about His glory. And learning this – shifting my perspective from a self centered to a God centered view of the gospel is slowly tearing down the biggest idol I never knew I had – myself.