“He drew a circular horizon on the face of the waters, At the boundary of light and darkness.” Job 26:10
I’m never one to mince real life or be shy to share on my blog. But I have been lately. A mixed bag of how it will be received, and could it even be harmful, have silenced my fingers.
You see the time finally came for me to wean off the anti-depressants that made life livable over the past few years. Depression just wouldn’t seem to lift without them, and with them I began to feel less out of sorts.
But after a year or so of feeling renewed I knew it was time to consider getting back to life unmedicated. And my caution comes in this: not everyone should or needs to consider dropping their anti-depressant now or even ever. But for me, after much prayer and wise counsel, the time was right to try. So try I did…and it’s been about a month.
I feel good. It hasn’t been easy per say, I’ve had to pull in some anxiety management strategies and thought stopping processes. But you know what? It feels good to use them. And even better to see them working. It feels as if God has brought me into and out of a thousand little circles.
Circles of past pain. Circles of grief. Circles of healing. Circles of memories. Circles of rest. Circles of breathing. Circles of moving forward. And finally the circle of what feels like a fresh start. And I’m so ready.
The circles that have protected me from too much of this or too little of that are now the surfaces that allow me to move forward with confidence in who I am and what He has made me to be.
And what if you are on that first tiny circle? The first legs of a journey with Christ. Walking through levels of learning, misunderstandings, insecurity, and maybe even pain. Or circles of joy and love, salvation and victory. The beauty of a thousand little circles are that each of them keep us cozy and safe in His love. Above the depths of pain yet safe below His wings.
A thousand little circles. Each of them with purpose and value. Moving us towards Him in His ways and times. And I’m so excited to see what these next one thousand little circles will bring.