Can’t I set her free too?


I know the feeling too well. Social struggles. She had a hard time walking into the party. I know enough to push her through the anxiety. But it’s difficult to watch. Girls she knows and loves. Girls that love her. But it doesn’t stop the internal garbage.

What if they don’t like me? Do they think I’m weird? Do my clothes look funny?

She would do anything to fit in and I would do anything to rip that garbage right out of her brain and put it where it belongs.

But I can’t.

Jesus, haven’t we fought this battle? Isn’t my freedom enough for her? Can’t the arms that set me free reach down and pull the chains from her as well? Can’t I fight this battle for her?

I’ve hashed through my feelings this weekend.

What did I do wrong? How can I help her grasp freedom?

It frustrates me that I may be doing all I can do. Taking her to church. Teaching her God’s Word and the power of scripture. I’m tempted to put her in every activity I can get my hands on. Maybe they will boost her confidence – give her a sense of belonging – and yet I know any sense of belonging or worth outside of Jesus will fail her, eventually.

And I wonder if Jesus doesn’t feel the same when He looks at me.

Haven’t I fought this battle for her? Victory over sin – It is finished. It is enough! Why can’t she choose to trust me? I tell her not to worry, but she does anyway…

And He could rip the garbage out of my mind in a second but He chooses not to. Instead He lets me learn and choose the Truth so it might be my own. Truth given specifically to me by a Savior who cares enough to let the working out of my salvation be a personal experience – a growth process – a relationship.

And so it will be with Lauren. Her battles must be fought within. I can be here, support, and guide, but ultimately she will choose that freedom for herself. And when she does it will be deeply personal for her. And although everything in me wishes I could just rush in and wrap it up in a bow for her, I know Jesus has a better way in mind. A way that will grow her relationship with Him.

And so I wait. And I pray. And I understand a tiny bit more about the way Jesus loves us than I did yesterday…



  1. says

    I feel for you! I’m definitely a fixer by nature, and it drives me crazy not to be able to make things better for those I love, especially my children. You are right, though. God is the only one who can fix your Lauren. You’re wise to wait and pray her through this difficult season in her life.

  2. says

    Oh, girl. I hear you. I loved the way you wrote this post. I often find my parenting lessons are filled with God saying “This is how I feel about you.” Praying for Lauren, that she sees Jesus as you have learned to see Him, that she would feel His presence and know His love way down deep.

  3. says

    I struggle with this for my kids, too. It’s so hard watching them go through the same things I have or my husband has, but God reminds me that He’s got this. And as they walk through these refining moments, He is making them in His image and into who He has designed them to be. Still, I wish I could help them more! Maybe that’s part of becoming the mothers He made us to be – learning to let go and let God.

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