Do I trust You…

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Photo Credit: Valerie Wieners
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Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track. Don’t assume that you know it all. Run to God! Run from evil! Your body will glow with health, your very bones will vibrate with life! Proverbs 3:5-6 MSG

It was almost like a rainbow. A cloud rainbow. The sunrise was beautiful this morning. Warm colors reflecting off the clouds, it captivated me. And then the question popped into my head…do you trust Me?

Do I trust You God? I say I do. I want to. I need to. But do I trust You?

When times are easy, I think I do. Or at least I don’t proclaim that I don’t. I may see the calm as something I created – rather than realizing it was You. I may struggle with pride and think, ya, I did that. But in good times, I at least say I trust You. But the bad is different. Way different. So do I trust You?

I want to. I think. Or do I? Because if I really wanted to, I could shift my focus and consume myself with Your Word. I could be still in Your presence rather than exhaust myself trying to find answers on my own. I could accept said answers may never be found, and even if they are, that Your grace defies logic anyways. I’ve yet to see a research study that fully accounts for Your miraculous blessings. Yet I’ve seen You intervene in some really tough situations, over and over again. So do I trust You?

I think I could more if I would stop projecting what I think You have planned or how I think You might disappoint me in the future. If I would just breath in the thick rest infused peace molecules that You place in front of my 5 senses right now. If I would let trust be a moment to moment dance rather than forcing it to the end point of a marathon I have not yet run. If I would accept what You give me as enough and something as simple and complex as a sunrise as evidence that You are indeed bigger and You very much care. I think I could trust You more…

I think I will because Your Word says that if I do, You will not fail. That if I do, I can feel more alive and less controlled by flesh and anxiety. If I do, that I might even glow and be renewed with life. And I have a whole lot of life and light yet to give – and I certainly don’t want to snuff out early. And if I do, I can even enjoy the present difficulty for what it is, without rushing off to try and fix things. Because they will be fixed in Your time and Your way. And that way is way more cool and colorful than mine.

So do I trust You? It’s a moment to moment choice…but in these next few minutes…I think I will.

 

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