So it’s good, this life I live. Really good. And I’m reading the book of Job. The man who went from really really good to horribly bad. My gracious, Does it get worse than what happens to him?
Unprovoked and seems unfair. It baffles my feely good vibes. Fear creeps in and I wonder if I’m next? Is God going to let Satan pop my happy bubble?
Fear is a big stronghold of mine. It often motivates my behavior without me even realizing it.
I act like a momma bird eager to protect her babies. My life is stable. It is good. And I would do just about anything to protect the balance. If it was all snatched away, I don’t know how I would react. Would I praise God in the storm or curse the painful acts and bid God let me die…
So fearfully, I protect my bubble. I do nothing seemingly “bad” to the outside observer. But inside, I refuse risk factors. If I’m not certain, I say no. I choose to protect myself from possible mistakes by never acting in the first place. If I tamper my God passion to a low whisper maybe it will also quiet satan’s desire to let out a nasty roar.
As I enter a time of “narrowing my calling” of sorts, I’m tempted to take an easy road. Seduced by laziness, I think maybe I should just ease up. But I find easing up means less time in my Bible, although that was not my intention. Fear says “just be normal…a middle of the road God girl”. And then thankfully God snatches my heart back and says “no”.
I know passionate love is consuming. Loving God crazy is risky business. Not because He won’t love me back. No…He loved me first. But because at times, things may hurt. God may grow my faith through pain, and He may not, but I’m choosing to be okay with either.
God took care of Job in the end. Even though I pray my happy bubble stays neatly in tact…God knows how to protect me even if it pops. And that goes for all of us.
So we can risk it a little. We can have a life of passionate love for Him. He’s going to keep everything okay. He will provide. Even if your going through the depths of a Job moment. Hold fast. God’s got it. Of that I’m 100 percent certain.