Some things are just unspeakable. To feel the words depart from our lips would be more than our heart could stand.
And it’s a tough line, because sometimes things just don’t need to be spoken. And other things do because in the speaking of them, they lose some of their power. But it’s never easy. It’s difficult, and often comes with an aftermath.
Now that it’s out there what does that person think? Will they think less of me? Will they love me the same? Will they blame me for the horrible awful thing that happened? Or will they help set me free of the blame that was never mine?
It’s a gamble. We never know. And people are weird and carry their own baggage and sometimes their baggage insists they react in inappropriate ways. And that’s why I am so glad there is more to this life than humanity. There is a higher, greater, unconditionally loving Father. And He, my sister, does not change.
You can tell Him your best and you can tell Him your worst and He always loves you the same. He loves you with the fullest measure of His love from the moment you let Him into your heart and mind. He knows you from the start. He speaks over the unspeakable places in ways another human never could. Because He is God. And He knows.
ALL of you, He knows.
And it’s vulnerable and frightening and can even feel intimidating to come into His presence raw and exposed. But He won’t hurt you. He just wants to make the broken places new. And sometimes we have to be a little vulnerable and trust Him so that He can do the work.
Sometimes the work includes sharing your story with another human. A person you choose to trust that is trained to help. A person who has extra large shoulders, ready and eager to take on a portion of your pain. Because God didn’t put you on an island and He doesn’t want you to walk alone. We all need brothers and sisters to help us along the way. But no one, not even the best therapist in the world, can heal your pain like Jesus can. They can walk beside you in the process. But only Jesus does the divine…
The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor. Isaiah 61:1-4
This is what He does. It’s why He came. And when we cower in shame afraid to let Him see the broken places we know He already sees, I think it’s painful for Him. Just like when we see our own child hurting, but they don’t come to us.
The unspeakable exists. I get it. Maybe no other human needs to know, but God does. Because He specializes in speaking life over the unspeakable. He is profound and wise and we can trust His goodness. He knows what it takes to help us survive, and He’s got just the thing to pull us through.