if you really knew me…

insecurity

How long have you carried around the lie that says…if they knew me…they wouldn’t love me? 

Or maybe it doesn’t go exactly like that.

Maybe it’s more like…if they knew my past, they would think differently of me. Or if they saw my laundry pile…or if they heard me yell at my kids…or if they knew that I was sexually abused…or if they knew I had a past history of addicition…or if they knew I struggled with depression…

In short…if they really knew me…they would reject me.

I fear most of us have been carrying this weight a very long time. And you know what? Maybe they would? Maybe they would think less of you. Maybe they would think more. Maybe they would wonder how you were able to get to the place you did. Maybe they would condemn you and cast words of judgement and shame. Maybe they would offer you compassion. It’s really a crapshoot because human behavior is often unpredictable.

And so if we can’t control the reactions of others to our truth…what do we do then? Continue to walk around trying to decide which pieces of ourselves others will deem appropriate and act accordingly? Are we doomed into being shape shifters so we never risk rejection?

Maybe…but at what cost? Because the truth is, those of us who constantly bend to the expectations of others and hide what’s really going on inside become the loneliest human beings on the planet.

While we may be skilled at staving off the rejection of others, we are constantly rejecting ourselves.

So what if we kept the same old adage…if you really knew me…and shifted it around…

If you really knew me, you would know unconditional love.

If you really knew me, you would understand that you are always accepted.

If you really knew me, you would know that I am not afraid of your pain.

If you really knew me, you would understand that your past is not to shameful and that redemption already happened on the cross.

If you really knew me, it wouldn’t matter what others say so much because you would look to me for your value.

If you really knew me, you would begin to swallow that all that stuff satan tells you are lies and that you do not have to accept them.

Reality is God made only one of you. Don’t rob people of the all of the amazingness of who you are. Even the ugly broken places. You may never share them directly, and that’s okay, but give all of you space to breath inside your heart. If they really knew you, they would get to see something beautiful.

 

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Comments

  1. April Preston says

    I recently read a page you wrote about date rape and it confirmed what God had been speaking to me about my own responsibility with drinking and putting myself in a bad position. I was feeling like taking revenge upon my neighbor (literally) for his filthy act against me, however I am choosing to accept my part and forgive him and trust God to protect me. I am also praying for his salvation bc the man is not a believer and has a bad heart valve. He is old and gross. But, God is using this as a way to get me to not ever drink due to allergies and to be true to my word.

    I am just going to have to trust Him.

    Thank you for the encouragement.

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