Kevin and I are looking to serve at Trinity Fellowship Church. Our new church home. And that means going through a few classes to help identify our spiritual gifts and personality types.
As we looked through the areas of service available, it was obvious both of our strengths and gifts pointed to leading a group.
“Maybe we should lead a marriage group”, I said. Kevin agreed. And we checked the interest box.
The whole thing sounds rather uneventful unless you know the backstory.
The backstory is that 6-ish years ago we couldn’t even go a day without using the word divorce. We couldn’t stand each other. I was hateful, mean, cold, and detached. Kevin was angry, frustrated, confused, and distraught. If I could use one word to describe the whole situation it would be this: hopeless.
And here we sit, years later, pondering the thought of leading a marriage group.
So what happened between now and then? A lot. But what worked for us may not work for you. So I’m not going to waste your time with a miracle marriage makeover formula. Because I don’t have one. But what I do have is this:
Because of the Lord ’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. (Lamentations 3:22, 23 NIV)
New mercies. New compassions. Every morning. From The Lord.
It’s not that marriages have a magic wand fix. They don’t. There’s a lot of things you can and should do to heal your marriage. Things like counseling, education about communicating, praying, forgiving, etc. But regardless of what you do or do not do you have to trust Gods mercies to get you through another day. Not another week, another month, or another year. Just stick with another day.
Because anything more than another day makes things seem impossible. The mercy has not arrived yet. Nor will it arrive until the correct day. Pondering the next week in a marriage at rock bottom can be gruesome. Stifling at best.
Think of it this way, if your counselor asks you to work on serving your spouse, and you are pondering what that will look like a week from now when you imagine yourself run ragged and your spouse still doing nothing…well you won’t be willing to put in the effort. But when you choose to serve your spouse today with no thoughts of tomorrow, that seems do-able.
And that’s what daily mercies do. They make life in a difficult marriage do-able.
Because things won’t change overnight. But day after day with concerted effort and prayer…you will look back and see change.
Your marriage is on the brink? That’s ok. Because all you have to do is focus on another day. Ask God what to do, what to pray, what to say, how to act, and to grant you favor for one more day. Just one more day. And before you know it years pass by, and you may find yourself saying, “Maybe we should lead a marriage group.” Just one more day…
If you are struggling in your marriage I would love to pray for you and your spouse. You don’t have to leave a long drawn out comment or description…a simple “pray for us” in the comment section will do just fine. I look forward to praying for you.
Love and Blessings,