Something unpleasant stirs inside. I can’t shake it. A shift in the balance is rapidly occurring. And I’m not quite certain what to do with it. It’s these waves I stand on the balcony of love guarding against. Waves of the unknown and unseen thrashing with power upon the fort I’ve built of I’m not sure what.
Self protection and preservation pushes hard against my will. It threatens to quickly close the doors of my heart on top of myself. But this is not where I want to go. Imploding into my own self pity is never the start of something amazing. Faced with adversity I’m also faced with a choice. To go down deeper or begin the ascension before the fullness of the descent picks up speed.
“He chose to give birth to us by giving us his true word. And we, out of all creation, became his prized possession.” James 1:18
As I read these words straight from the pages of the one place truth never ceases to exist the mystery deepens further. Birthed as a new creation through the love of Christ I can feel my self dying a bit more and I wonder if the parts of me stirring inside aren’t bits of pride starving and soon to fall away. If this deeper stirring in my spirit and my soul is not the revival I have been praying for.
My God…His way up is often down…and down is often up. My mind cannot comprehend and my heart cannot fully envelop the swaying swing of my emotions but I can grab ahold of this.
That He chose us.
To give His Word to. To give His son for. To give up His life for…so that we might live. And even when our spirit wants to go scuba diving in the land of self pity, grasping a tiny shard of His truth is enough to pull us far beyond even the most overwhelming pain.
Whatever has your feet tied to the bottomless pit you feel stuck in, He sent His son and offers His Word…specific to you…to set you free. Embrace it. Swallow it whole if you can.
Lord thank you that even in all of this…we are yours.